Greg and Selena are engaged!

It happened on August 5th at the Shakespeare Festival in front of more than 300 people. Greg tells the story so much better than I, but we are absolutely delighted to officially welcome Selena into the family. We were lucky that the photographer was filming the entire thing and now have links to photos and the video.

Danaher reunion 2006

We built it and they came. Over 100 people showed up for the Danaher family reunion weekend and I think each one had a great time. Some of us had not seen each other in over 30 years...some of us had never met. But everyone became instantly close, and even the life-sized cardboard images of Grandmom and Grandpop were smiling.

We started Friday night with a reception at the Holiday Inn in Bensalem. Nothing gets the Danahers in a good mood like food and open bar. The name tags, where we identified ourselves by clan, were a big help, and the poster boards, where we displayed photos of of our families over the years, were very nostalgic. The reception was over at 11:00, but some of us kept going in room 134, that den of iniquity where the drinks and the laughter flowed freely. Unfortunately, my camera broke on the first photo of the evening, so I have no pictures to share...yet.

Saturday morning was a bit of a slow start...no surprise there. The early rain and flood warnings almost cancelled our picnic by the creek, but somehow, the bad weather held off for most of the afternoon. Neshaminy Shore Park had good BBQ, lots of beer, pools with slides, mini golf, gyrospheres, horseshoes and more. Most of us wore our reunion t-shirts and spent the day mingling under the canopies. Just as it began to rain, the photographer took a group photo...that should be an interesting shot.

The party then moved back to 81. It was a bit of deja vu from the wedding to have the house full of people and pouring rain outside, but between the house and the garage, we all managed to fit. Several of the cousins pulled out their guitars and played for most of the evening. Judy sang harmony and sounded good. Greg and Selena showed up a few hours before the party broke up...much earlier than the previous night.

Sunday we headed over to Pat and Tom's for breakfast and mass with our cousin, Fr. Kevin. Jeff and Jill came in just before the service started. Kevin personalized much of the service and the sign of peace was a total melee that took quite a while as everyone moved around the room hugging and kissing everyone else. A few more hours of talking and laughing, and then it was time to say goodbye. Folks started heading out for the airport and far away states. I left with Aunt Pat in the middle of the afternoon, but some of the die-hard cousins hung around for dinner on the grill.

Dan was very supportive through the whole thing, even though he knew very few cousins. He bonded with the other unrelated FODs...Friends of Danahers...but I think he was more than ready to go home by Sunday. I was just so glad that, except for Aunt Jean, the aunts and uncles were healthy and able to travel to the event. I think they had as much fun as we did, although they didn't drink nearly as hard.

It was a truly wonderful success! I'm still smiling and look forward to the debriefing meeting where we can retell the whole thing :)

Danaher wedding

Saturday was a lovely day for a wedding, despite periodic torrential downpours. My brother Jim married his fiance Patty under a pavilion on the Delaware, with about 125 family and friends in attendance. Patty's son, Cory, walked her down the aisle, while her daughter, Sheree, was the maid of honor. Drew was Jimmy's best man and Drew's wife was one of Patty's attendants.

After the brief service, everyone headed back to 81 for a festive reception under canopy with hors d'oevres, dinner, open bar, d.j., dance floor, and the standard Danaher tradition for any gathering, be it happy or sad...horseshoes.

John, Patty, Judy and I wandered through the old homestead and wondered at all the marvelous changes our little brother had wrought. In addition to a much lighter kitchen, thanks to painted cabinets, the family room had been converted to a dining room with new sliders to the back yard. A small addition now contained a new powder room, laundry room and pantry. The two downstairs bedrooms had been combined with the first floor bath to form a large first-floor master suite. But the most noticeable change of all was the missing piano in the living room. Over our growing-up years, Mom would periodically rearrange the furniture, but the piano never, ever moved from its spot on the living room wall. With that gone, it finally sunk in that this was no longer "our" home, the house we grew up in. It had truly passed on to the next family, my brother Jim and his new wife and children. My hope and fondest wish is that the house's legacy of love, warmth and happiness will endure and grow along with them.

Johnny, we hardly knew ye

My dad passed away in June several years ago, and I still miss his wisecracks and stories, his opinions and compliments. So, in a sentimental moment, I decided to Zoom his name to see what kind of legacy he may have left for others.

Imagine my surprise to find a listing for John Danaher, instructor in the Gracie school of jujitsu. Now, I'll admit that my mom could yell with the best of them and even slap a hand when the occasion called for it, but jujitsu? More likely would have been the Gracie school of yodeling.

I also found a nice write up on my brother, the musical John Danaher of New Hope.

On a roll, I tried some more names. It was intriguing to discover that everyone in the Wilmington Drama League is a colleague of my son Jeff, and that Greg was the co-founder and executive director of Trolley Square.

Pass the tiara!

Galooping 2006 is over and so is my third reign as Princess. Hopefully, for about 10 more years. No more correspondence with the landlord or spreadsheets on rental payments, no more figuring out the food or divvying up the bedroom assignments. I happily passed the crown, the shirt, the bag and all the extra stuff to Toni. In fact, I was downright giddy with joy...but not enough to lose at Trivial Pursuit.

This year marked our 25th anniversary...25 years of friends getting together with spouses, kids and assorted guests to laugh and eat and drink and play games together. We've seen a few husbands come and go over the years...watched the children grow up and start their own families...so many are now grandparents! And yet I still perceive us as the same group we were in our twenties...funny how that inner eye works...guess it only sees the youthful glow.

A Place for Jill

My daughter is now 28 years old and still living at home with me. This was not part of the original plan. That plan, developed in my twenties, called for all three children to be out of the parental house by age 25, with no returns (short-term emergencies excepted). Jill's disabilities did not exempt her...just like her brothers, she too needed to build her skills and independence in anticipation of that final flight from the nest. The one where I stood and looked on, smiling and waving goodbye.

I no longer remember why that was so important, but divorce has a way of deflating and dissolving all those little visions of the future. Real life...at least, my real life... always seems to play out so much differently than planned. In this case, my boys are gone but Jill is still with me.

And I love having her here. Jill cooks dinner for me some nights and treats me to the movies. We go food shopping and take walks together. She has a warm and sunny sense of humor (probably from her dad, smile) and a serious sense of responsibility (probably from me, sigh).

But I still feel that getting her situated in her own home is my last big parental job. If something were to happen to me right now, Jill would not only have to deal with that loss, but also give up her job and move to Florida. She would have to leave the only home she's ever known to move in with her father in a strange house in a strange town with no friends, no work, no recreation and no way out. How many life stressing events can an average person tolerate in such a short time, let alone one who reacts to routine change with high anxiety?

So, over the weekend, we went to look at a possible alternative. This is a new model for group homes...four suites within a big colonial house. Each suite has a bedroom with bath, and sitting area with refrigerator, sink and microwave. Everyone has common access to the house kitchen, living room and laundry. The big group home difference is no staff on duty...all services are of the drop-in type...so it's more like apartment than dormitory living. The other three house residents seem very independent and capable, and Jill has decided that she'd like to try it out.

If only it were that simple. Since her current life situation is not in crisis, Jill's name is nowhere close to the top of the state's waiting list for community placements. But we will continue to explore our options and see where we land.

An Evening with Talking Authors

Last night, Dan and I went to hear two famous authors speak at the Forum USA Delaware series in the DuPont theater. Although I never read anything by Salman Rushdie, I wanted to hear him speak while he was in town, just in case some radical decided the fatwah was still on and I never got another chance. I have read a few short stories by Joyce Carol Oates and while she is not my favorite author, I also wanted to hear what motivates her to write the way she does.

I'm not sure what I expected...maybe a few readings, a la David Sedaris, with some explanation as to how the stories originated and perhaps changed during the telling. But instead, we were treated to a conversation...guided by funny Colin McEnroe, but very much like the talk you might hear around a small dinner party table.

I was delighted by both authors' sense of humor...Rushdie made me laugh out loud and Oates observations were dry and witty. I enjoyed the discussions on book burning and censoring, but was a little surprised when a question from the audience asked for Rushdie's perspective on the muslim world (I have to wonder if he lives each day checking over his shoulder). And I totally agreed with their view that the writers job is not to change the world but rather to describe it.

It was a very different and enjoyable evening. The next time I go to Borders, I will probably pick up a copy of Rushdie's Satanic Verses, some anthology of Oates, and most definitely McEnroe's book: Lose Weight Through Great Sex with Celebrities (the Elvis Way).